Ok...I'm gonna start myself a new journal in the next few days...I know LaurHem will be glad she has something to read again, haha! I'll let you know what my new screen name for my journal will be! Peace & Love...

cdc

I know it has been awhile, and that I always start every entry in this same fashion; however, this is the first chance I have gotton in awhile. I have kept myself busy with numerous things that I am greatly excited about! First of all, alot of changes have taken place since the last time I updated (who knows how long THAT has been??). Most importantly I've decided to get more involved in church. I made some pretty awesome decisions and have done a little life-shifting that is for the best. Brandon and I are doing absolutely wonderful and I love him more each day :) He is still taking summer classes at Tech, and will hopefully finish up his degree in December of this year. He is already thinking about where he will find a job and what path he is going to take. I know in my heart everything is going to be wonderful for he and I.

I have still been working alot this summer, but have averaged two days off per week. This week, I had Monday and Tuesday. Monday I spent at home all day and evening doing a super deep cleaning on my bedroom. We're talking--move the mattress and vaccuum under the bed-type cleaning. Every drawer was cleaned, and my desk was organized. After two huge bags of garbage, and a major trip to Goodwill, I finally have a little more room :) So, today I decided to get out a little. I met my friend from church at her house around 10:30 this morning. She has two beautiful children...one that is 2 and one that is an infant. The two year old is my pride and joy--a natural curly haired girl like myself! No wonder we have taken up with each other! We picked up two other kids and then went to the mall for the ENTIRE day. We ate lunch, made some purchases, and then got ice cream! We went back to her house later and gave baths to the kids. We had our hands full but had a blast. She is a teacher, so we have alot in common. We are going to the beach together this fall for a teacher conference (I have to go anyway for school, so we're going together now)...excited :)

Tonight I am going to a farewell party for a teen at church. Her mom is in the army, and has to move away, so all of her friends at church are throwing her a party. I'm gonna just meet Brandon there because he had to work all day, and is going to the gym after work. I went this morning, and have been going alot here lately. Its so amazing that when your life gets in balance in the spiritual way, everything else just balances itself. I have been exercising more, been in better moods, and have done alot for myself here lately.

So, I'm still pacing through my quest of reading every Nicholas Sparks book. This past week I finished "A Bend in the Road" and have just started "The Rescue." I'm excited because he is such an amazing author. I never used to enjoy reading, but this summer I have done so much of it! It's my new-found hobby. Along with that, I've picked up card-making. It's so similar to scrapbooking, that it is easy for me to put together cute cards. I've gotton so many compliments on it here lately! I need to keep up on my scrapbooking though...it just gets so expensive here lately, and I have reallllly been watching what I spend and trying to budget everything.

And last but not least, I've been ME here lately. I haven't felt this good in months. I'm wearing my hair curly again, have my silly personality, and have been chilling at the house having time to myself some. Like I said, my advice to getting your life in balance is to start with the spiritual side. I cannot tell you how much better the past two weeks for me have been. I've been playing the piano again as well, and am playing for church Sunday!! Not only that, but I've had two parents contact me about starting lessons for their little girls. I am starting that this coming fall one day a week. I absolutely cannot wait.

I know it sounds like the world is just a high for me right now, but trust me, there are some "lows." For starters, my sweet little cat has been at the vet going on a week now. He's getting pretty old anyways, but he's been really sick and I hope he'll be okay :( Next, I am going on my 4th day without a voice...yep, I cannot hardly speak one word! I am not in pain, but something is wrong with my vocal chords and I can only whisper or talk in a low "man" voice. I believe it is allergies. Everytime the crepe myrtles bloom I get this way!

Well, I have to go. Just wanted to check out a teacher conference website and thought I'd update while I was on. Have a great summer :)

It's pretty late (or early) in the a.m. and I am still awake because I'm not feeling so swift right now. I was about to starve and couldn't sleep, so I ate a small piece of leftover cake from my dad's birthday party tonight. It was good, but I feel nasty now after eating sweets then trying to sleep. I finally finished the scrapbook I was making my dad for his birthday of the pictures from his Texas Hunt. It turned out awesome and everyone was pleased.

Today Brandon and I both were off work and went to the gym. I need to get back in my routine of that everyday. Afterwards we stopped by for a quick bite of lunch downtown. It was very good. We decided to go get Brandon's dog and let her go swimming with us. We put her in the pool, on the float, and watched her dive in and swim. So very cute!! Tonight we ate for my dad's birthday and played with my cousin's new little puppy. Brandon and I ended up coming over here and playing a game because we were pretty bored. I wore my hair curly by the way...first time in forever. Its so much easier to fix and deal with. It will be straight again tomorrow for a picture that has to be taken, but still, it's me.

I've learned alot of things these past few days. I've learned to appreciate what I have, but at the same time have a little respect for myself and let others appreciate me. I've learned that I can be myself and not try to impersonate another human simply for attention.

So anyways, I'm off to sleep. Gotta get up early in the morning.

I just happened to glance at the calendar and wow! It is almost July!?! I think that taking a Maymester class has caused summer to fly by. Besides, being gone a week in June at the beach has made June disappear even faster. Well, we've been kinda slow at work here lately, so I haven't had as many hours this week. There's never an even balance--either I'm working everyday, or can't get enough hours! So that's why I'm home now. I don't go in until this afternoon. As long as I'm getting "some" hours I could care less. At least I'm still getting to enjoy having a summer! I layed out all morning and just came in to fix me lunch before I have to begin getting ready. Thankfully today is payday at work!! That makes me happy. I'm looking foward to this evening...I believe Brandon is cooking me Japanese tonight if we can find a kitchen :) Gosh, I've got such a sexy cook...I wish I had my own kitchen to put him in! I'm not completely obcessed, but I will admit that I'm infatuated with him. Everyday I look foward to seeing him, and it breaks my heart to have to say goodbye at night.

Well, I know this was short and sweet, but my lunch is down and I'm gonna go get in the shower. I really should have gone to the gym today, but I need sun right now more than anything. Glad I got a little bit today! I absolutely refuse to buy tanning bed visits in the summer when the sun is shining bright. I'm looking foward to getting some sun next week when we go to the lake and also next week when Brandon and I go to the Carrowinds water park! Have a great day...

I know that PMS is the cause of pleanty of mood swings in females, but is it normal to be happy high one minutes and down and depressed the next? Gosh, that sounds freakin bipolar, but I know that isn't the case. I just feel like sometimes I am having an awesome day, then BAM! Something goes wrong. It never fails either. The perfect day can always somehow be ruined. Then again, I feel guilty for allowing myself to have my days ruined by mood from external forces. I should be the one that elects to have a good/bad day. If I feel like crap, wake up, and say "hmmm I know its gonna be a bad one..." then--so be it. However, if I wake up and say "its gonna be a grrrreat day!" then it is my obligation to not let anything come between me and those wishes. Have in mind, I am not at all complaining about anybody or anything...I'm talking internal discussion here. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I am very fond of this quote because of the truth it holds. Think about it...NO ONE can make you inferior unless YOU let them. This is America--we're all supposedly equal individuals. If I "let" someone dominate my feelings of emotional superiority, then I have allowed them to make me inferior. I'm not speaking parents, boyfriends, friends, etc... I'm talking of those people that cause us to feel like weaklings by merely being in their presence. Maybe its money...fame...wealth...who knows. There is inevitably a distinct criteria that separates humans--UNLESS we all take Eleanor Roosevelt's advice to not allow this social separation to occur. I believe it is all in the mind, after all. Here's my personal example: Sadly, my mood is created from my confidence level...my confidence level largely depends on the way I present myself (particularly what I'm wearing or how my hair is doing on the present day). Whenever I feel down and depressed, I elect not to "fix up" that day, which thus sends a signal to others that I'm not feeling top-notch. On the other hand, if I'm feeling outgoing and happy I usually wear bright colors and fashionable clothing that draws attention in comments--because I'm feeling outgoing and talkative to accept these comments! Its such a vicious cycle that not many people could possibly understand, but this is true. Here's another example: This past Sunday I had been shopping and had on denim capris and a little v-neck tee. PERFECT outfit for an afternoon of shopping; however, it rained, my hair curled, my makeup was matted, and the next thing I know, its time for church and I have NO dressier clothing, NO straightening iron, NO makeup, and NO way out of it. So...perfect example...what was once a perfect day suddenly became horrible because I knew that by looking drab I would be inferior. Granted, I am the only one that thinks up these things, I know that in all actuality I would still be equal; however, in my mind I don't feel presentable. Sounds wacky...who knows if I'm even making sense?!?

In conclusion, I feel that our outward appearance is something very important. I'm not saying God-given beauty or cosmetic surgery, but I am saying that what we put on our body is a primary reflectant of what people cannot see that dwells on the inside--at least for me anyways. I guess a large part of this has came from working in the clothing industry for several years. Please do not think I am saying this in a selfish manner, or as a way of boasting about looks...heaven knows I could point out a million flaws. An artist would probably agree that when a picture is created on a canvas it reflects their personal inward self. I believe that clothing is merely an art and a mood-reflectant.

Well, this has been a random entry, but its something I've picked up on and noticed about myself here lately. Nobody may understand where I'm coming from, but at least I've got it off my chest. Self-confidence is an important aspect of life that should only be increased with time. We all have our touchy issues and personal quirks that make us feel inferior...but we must always remember that even though outward appearance "reflects" who we are, it is not "who" we are...only that can come from being with a person over time and no longer needing that outward reflection. That is one reason I am in love with Brandon so much--he knows me like the back of his hand and doesn't need reflection signals to understand me; however, I am not going to lie...it sure as heck makes my night if he gives me a compliment!!

After such a long week last week with no day off, I have thoroughly enjoyed being off these past two days this week. It rained most of Monday and I just cleaned my room, but today it was only partly cloudy so I was able to get outside. After Brandon finished class, we took our little dog Sophie to the park for a picnic lunch. She's got this little doggie tent that pops up and she lays in there while we eat so that she doesn't run all over the place. I made baked ham and cheese crossants...mmm We were going to let her play in the river but because of all the rain it was really rapid and alot deeper than before. Besides, she was going into Petsmart after the park and I didn't want her to be a dirty girl!

This evening I cooked speghetti for Brandon and I then my grandparents stopped by for a visit. We've got this new little outdoor cat that has taken up at my house and my grandpa came to see about taking it over to his house...but I wouldn't let him! I've already named and collared her. Her name is "Miss Priss" or "Prissy" for short. After the grandparents left, Brandon and I decided to go to the gym for a workout. We didn't stay too long. My stomach has been cramping all afternoon...grrr This evening, I decided to just come back at the house and chill. I got alot of scrapbooking done--about 4 pages I think. I love doing that! It's such a relaxing and fun hobby to look through old pictures and make them into an entire scene that tells a story. Many people may think its a waste of time, but a picture speaks a thousand words...and that's what I try to do with my scrapbook...speak those words. I'm about up-to-date now with mine and Brandon's 4th year scrapbook. I still have the beach and Margaritaville pictures left to do--not to mention the whole freakin Disney World scrapbook with a gazillion pics!

I am going to my church friend's lingerie shower this weekend. I'm excited because that should be fun! I've gotta go this week to the mall and pick her out something. I was asking my mom what to get and she was telling me how much fun those things usually are. I told her I'd just have to skip right over that shower if it were for me because lord knows every bra I got would be going straight back to the store! Haha...but then she informed me that its not really bras that you get...its all kinds of sexy nightgowns. Hehehe I can't wait until I have one of those showers one day!

Well, I'm gonna lay in my bed and read my Nicholas Sparks book. I'm slowly but surely working my way through all of his novels. I want to lay in the sun and read so bad its killing me. I miss the smell of sunscreen and a warm breeze...ahhh I love and miss the beach! Have a great night!

Today has been my long-aniticipated day off of work. After not getting a chance to even breathe last week, today has been wonderful. I still have my pajamas on and I am aware that it is 4:00 in the afternoon; however, to me, this is a "day off." I have done nothing but clean and organize today. That is what I had planned to do though, and I've been in that mood. I was gonna hang out with Kenzie today, but because it had been storming all day I didn't want to get out--plus, no sun means no tan! I organized my jewelry box, my desk, my nightstand, my dresser, and my scrapbooking supplies tower. I didn't get much scrapbooking done today because it took all day to do what I mentioned. Now, I'm on this computer trying to get my printer set up. I've had this little printer almost 2 years and it still doesn't work. I think something is screwed up with the ink. Hmmmm Brandon and I are gonna do something tonight. I wouldn't mind just snuggling up or playing cards or something. I don't feel like getting dressed to be presentable, haha! So anyways, I'm gonna get off of here and get some more things done--like take a shower and put on something other than pj's! Have a good one...

There are many times in life when we find outselves busy with nothing but boredom. This has been the story of my life this week. I have been so busy that I am bored. I have worked six days this week and one evening. On top of that, I have had VBS to work at every night after I get off work. Although my life has been busy, it has been a rush leading to boredom. For example, I have worked numerous hours this week and had a very limited amount of customers. It gets tiring sitting at work with not a thing in the world to do. But then again, boredom can also lead to happiness and creativity. I have been able to work with the greatest person ever this week and we've had a blast! After finishing all of our work, we just took it easy the rest of the days. This is where I am now...and updating this long lost journal is one way of feeding my boredom.

Vacation:
Last week was the annual family vacation to the beach. We had a blast even in spite of the tropical storm that paid a visit during the middle of the week. This called for lots of shopping, bowling, and card games. I was glad that Brandon was able to come down on Tuesday--that was better than not getting to come at all! I thought the sun was out bright earlier in the week, but once he got there he brightened my days even more :) We did some shopping at the new Coastal Grand Mall. We also played putt-putt two nights. I just can't help but bragging that I beat Mr. Brandon by one prestige stroke. A long time ago I could not even hit the ball properly, but after being in the company of Brandon and undergoing extensive "lessons" of how to improve my game, it has finally proven worthwhile! Another thing we did at the beach that was exciting was going to Margaritaville. That was the most fun place I have ever eaten at......anyone seen that lost shaker of salt? Then of course, just riding around in the convertible was a blast. There is nothing like the wind gliding through your hair listening to Kenny Chesney and knowing the greatest guy you've ever met is your driver!

Weddings:
Brandon and I left the beach at 6:45am last Saturday to drive home so we wouldn't run into traffic. It's a good thing we did because it took others almost 7 hours to get home due to traffic jams. We had to be home in time for Brandon's cousin's wedding. Theirs and Jenna's wedding were at the same time, but we had already committed to this one. It was absolutely beautiful. They spent almost four thousand dollars just on greenery for the church, but they really showed out on the reception. The reception was a full-course sit-down dinner at the Hilton. There was a DJ and dancing and an open bar. I wore an adorable black and white lace tube-top dress with black strappy heels. Brandon had on a sexy purple shirt with his suit. I regret not bringing my camera. I love going to weddings. It makes me all excited and hopeful that one day I can plan my own...

VBS:
After the wedding and being up since 6am that morning, Brandon and I went back to our church to clean up and decorate for Vacation Bible School for this coming week. We'd been making decorations since January. The theme was "Space Quest" and we hung planets up all across the front of the church. It definitely turned out well and we had lots of kids come this week...so staying until midnight to decorate made it worthwhile. The last day was today, but I am unable to go because I am sitting here at work. No big deal though!

Scrapbooking:
I am so far behind in my scrapbooking it isn't even funny!! I still have yet to scrapbook my Disney World pictures back from New Years. On top of that, I still have to scrapbook my dad's trip to Texas that he gave me all the stuff to do. THEN, I volunteered to make the Teaching Fellows scrapbook for my class when we went to Atlanta. That won't be difficult, just time-consuming. Right now, time is the most valuable thing I own. I would love to go to AC Moore on Sunday because they're having a big scrapbook event and have sales on alot of things I need. I also want to learn to write in calligraphy. I think that would add a pretty touch. Working with Sally (the QUEEN of scrapbooking) all week has inspired me to finish this hobby. I'm off two days this coming week and it is supposed to rain, so maybe this will give me the chance to catch up.

Shoes:
I am in desperate need for tennis shoes! I have not purchased a new pair of these since before I started high school...that's pretty sad! I worked outside for years wearing these, had gym class, cheerleading practice, and been to workout. Finally, these shoes have no more support and hurt my feet and back. Even though they held up, I am not getting any more Sketchers...I want some Nike Shox. Actually, I went to Dicks Sporting Goods last night and bought some that are silver and pink, but they are the wrong size now that I brought them home. I called the store and am returning them tonight. Hopefully I'll have some luck and find another pair! I have GOT to get back in the gym. Going on vacation messed up my routine and now I've been sluggish all week.

Summer Reading:
I am on a reading kick all of a sudden!? I have never been a person that enjoyed reading unless it was something that I enjoyed. I hate classic novels from English class, but if it is a subject I am inspired by, I cannot put the book down. Last week I read "Message in a Bottle" by Nicholas Sparks. It was absolutely wonderful and I have rented the movie and can't wait to watch it now. I have read several of his books and have decided he's my favorite author because he always writes about love and hardships and how people work through them. He's also pretty local with all of his stories based in North Carolina. When I took the other one back to the library, I checked out "A Bend in the Road." I've read alot of this one already, and it is about a police officer and teacher that fall in love...WHAT A COMBINATION, HUH??? haha :)
I went to his website and printed out all of his novels and it is my goal to read everyone of them in order. I may be 60 before I finish this goal (and my scrapbooking) but I am determined!



Well, I know it has been weeks, but this pretty much brings me up-to-date. I am going to do better about updating, although in the summer I'm never at the computer unlike school days. Brandon is still taking summer classes and will finish school in December, then he'll have his real job...wow, this is scary but exciting! This is the best we've ever been in our relationship and each day it just gets better. When I think I cannot love him anymore than I do, I wake up the next day and realize I love him more than I did the day before. Have a great summer day :)

I haven't updated this thing in awhile, so I guess now would be a good time to do so, huh? My life has been relatively busy for awhile, and nobody has updated anyway! Well lets see, my Maymester class ended. Believe it or not, I really enjoyed that class. "Technology in Teaching" was the title. We learned how to create our gradebook electronically, do fun review games for our class, and even make a Jeopardy game for them to study by. Pretty nifty. In between all of that, I have been working almost everyday and going to all of Brandon's softball games that are scattered throughout it all. I have sorta felt like summer has finally arrived because I had a few days off this past week and it was bright, sunny, and 90 degrees. I put on my bikini and got some rays out by the pool--that makes me so happy :) Speaking of the sun, I am going to the beach in like 2 weeks and I am so excited because Brandon IS going to be able to come with me after all! One of his classes ends that week, and they've got a study day during that time, so he can thankfully squeeze a few days in to drive down. It just isn't summer without my baby going to the beach with me.

So this is Memorial Day weekend...hmmm...most places are closed Monday, but we're gonna open up at work. I volunteered to work a few morning hours because I desperately need some cash! Taking a Maymester has hurt me because normally I'm working full-time by now with a loaded bank account to buy all of my summer necessities. WELL, I am sick and tired of all this penny-pinching I'm having to do. I was balancing my checkbook at work and told Meredith that I see where all my money goes--gas and FOOD. I swear, I'd be rich if I didn't have to eat! Maybe I should go on a mild diet to save some money AND look better in the swimsuit, haha...it's a thought!

Well, lets see, just yesterday my dad had to have surgery. His appendix needed to be taken out immediately, so I was at the hospital late last night and early this morning with him. He's fine now, and back at home, just a little sore. Poor thing :(

I took Brandon (and my) little Chihuahua back to my house this evening before the softball games to paint her toenails and get her all dolled up. We went to Petsmart afterwards and got some ice cream. I want her so bad! I wish she lived with me. Little dogs look so cute carried around and riding in the car!

The other day I was listening to the radio and I always make it a quirky little habit of mine to call in and try to be the correct caller in order to win some things. I've won tons of stuff already. Well...when I was driving to a softball game last week I won a "summer fun prize pack" for being caller number 9, and got the following: 2 tickets to see X3, 2 tickets to Carrowinds, 2 tickets to see Rob Thomas and the gang at Freedom Weekend, and Ultra Tan visits. I was psyched! Especially about the tanning bed and Carrowinds! That is just too awesome.

I went to go see the DaVinci Code the other day. I really don't see what the big fuss is all about. Here's my opinion. It's a FICTION novel meant to entertain. So what if it gives an alternative view of the Bible...that doesn't mean you have to believe it. Besides, if people would actually watch the movie, they would realize it is never degrading of the accepted belief of Jesus Christ today. At the end, Tom Hank's character bluntly states "it's all in what you believe." All the churches that are raising cain are only causing people to "want" to go see what the fuss is about, ya know? I'm not anti-religious, but I know in my heart the true meaning of Jesus and a movie is not going to change that.

Well, I'm really sleepy and I'm going to church in the morning early, so I have got to get some rest! Hope everyone is having a great summer!

That is what today has been---Unpredictable! I went to my Maymester class, went to work, then finished out my day at the freakin emergency room. I was @ work moving some glass shelving with Meredith, and when I went to lift this old one, it make a loud noise and exploded--that's right, the glass exploded. Nobody but the people that actually SAW it could believe it. The glass went over the ceiling divider into the little cafeteria that is connected to work. I just froze when it happened. I looked down at my arms and saw all the blood and started to freak. Then I went to the bathroom and my boss had to help me take off my shirt and everything because glass went all down my shirt. It wasn't bad enough for me to have stitches, but we knew glass was in all my cuts so she made me go to the hospital. I guess its good I did though because that doctor found some glass in it, and had to remove it--ouch! So anyway, that was the event of my day!

Last night was unpredictable also. Brandon went to the Riverside state championship baseball game and I had no desire to go, so Meredith and I went and got coffee then watched American Idol. After I left her house, I came home then Kenz showed up at my house :) I hadn't talked to her in forever and we talked until early in the a.m.

So...after spending my evening in the hospital, I was starving and am now enjoying a delicious dinner of chicken nuggets, haha. Brandon's gonna come over and watch our show with me. But just thought I'd update this thing this I actually had an experience worth updating!